angie's nachos recipe

get out a big round pizza pan and put tortilla chips (whole grain corn) in a good thick layer
over those put:
1 large grated carrot
1 vidalia onion, small dice
1 tomato, small dice
1/2 large red bell pepper, small dice
then dump a large can of bush's baked beans over that (original flavor is good)
cover all the above w/ a pkg of grated mexican cheese

bake at 350 for 15-20 min. til cheese is well melted
serve over triple heart lettuce mix...the colors look better & besides, it's good for you
put a dollop over low-fat sour cream on top and you're good to go

hilda doolittle excerpt from eurydice

at least i have the flowers of myself,
and my thoughts, no god
can take that;
i have the fervour of myself for a presence
and my own spirit for light;

and my spirit with its loss
knows this;
though small against the black,
small against the formless rocks,
hell must break before i am lost;

before i am lost,
hell must open like a red rose
for the dead to pass.

sesame peanut noodles

cook 1 lb thin spaghetti, drain and rinse in cold water. i use the ronzoni healthy harvest brand for extra fiber and really like it. set aside.

whisk together:
4 Tbs peanut oil
4 Tbs peanut butter
4 Tbs soy sauce
2 tsp toasted sesame oil
2 Tbs light brown sugar
2 tsp minced fresh ginger (or equivalent ground)
1-2 pinches of crushed red pepper

toss w/ spaghetti. sprinkle w/ sliced green onions (1 bunch), 2 grated carrots and 1/4 cup of chopped, unsalted peanuts. this is one recipe i could live on and not get bored of eating it.

toby's enchiladas w/ fresh spinach

1 bag of fresh spinach, steamed (gently squeeze excess water out of it)
15 oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed (i actually use 2 cans)
1/2 cup of salsa
1/4 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp chili powder
1 bunch of scallions, sliced
2 tomatoes, diced

optional additions for even more nutrition:
1 sweet potato, cut into small chunks and boiled til tender
1/2 cup corn

combine the above. wrap in whole wheat tortillas (pkg of 8), place in a 9x13 pan. sprinkle a pkg of already grated mexican cheese over the top. bake at 350 for 20 min. or until cheese is melted.

chocolate tofu pie

procure one of those already made graham cracker crusts
in your microwave, melt a 12 oz bag of good chocolate chips (i use ghiradelli dark chocolate)
in your blender, put a 1lb tub of silken tofu that's cut into big chunks
add the melted chocolate chips to the blender as well
add a capful of real vanilla
blenderize w/ the cover on til it's all mixed well...this takes a bit of occasional stirring
pour into the graham cracker crust and refrigerate at least an hour

pineapple fried rice recipe

start by steaming 1 cup of jasmati rice (i use my electric rice steamer...love it)
in a cast iron dutch oven, pour in canola oil enough to cover the bottom and heat to medium-high
add 2 beaten eggs and stir around til cooked
add a vidalia onion cut to small dice, along w/ 1T good soy sauce. cook til onion's done.
add your steamed rice and some more soy sauce til rice is well mixed
add some canned pineapple cut into small pieces (small handful, so to speak)
add 3 or so cooked til tender carrots, cut to small dice
add some cooked diced chicken or shrimp that's cooked and cut up
stir it all around til it's hot, adding a half dozen shakes of black pepper

she will be there also

where the frogs are singing their highest praises,
and it is the dusk they are singing into gradual midnight,
she will be there also--
bringing the blessing of tears into being
bringing the protection and permission of darkness.

where the cardinal is singing alone,
the highest branches swaying in summer's lilting breeze,
sound dripping like water over a pebble,
liquid sound falling like sweet rain,
she will be there also--
bringing the blessing of self, unaccompanied,
bringing the protection and permission of joyous solitude.

where the lynx lies blinking and waiting,
not a leaf turning to show where it's hunting,
she will be there also--
bringing the blessing of hunting and pouncing,
bringing the protection and permission of following a path to its completion.

where the otter dives and frolics, free and uncaring,
fearless and graceful in freely flowing waters,
she will be there also--
bringing the blessing of body and moving,
bringing the protection and permission of abandoning all bindings.

where the fox stands outlined in sunset,
black-footed and grounded, fur lined by fire,
she will be there also--
bringing the blessing of beauty unharnessed,
bringing the protection and permission of flames and ashes and transformation.

where the bear arises hungry from winter starvation
into new awareness,
she will be there also--
bringing the blessing of new hopes and old rhythms,
bringing the protection and permisison of learning to fill her own hungers.

imperatives

give me a heart that's open to breaking
give me a mind that's open to the unknown
give me a soul unafraid of failing
give me an eternity free of self-doubt

give me beauty in a brown paper bag
give me truth in a rear-view mirror
give me justice in a wide-open field
give me freedom on a dead-end street

give me hope while in hell's handbasket
give me patience to unstitch my own errors
give me courage to run while blind-folded
give me the balance of a candle's flame

when i come back

when i come back
i want to be a small horse
in a snowstorm.
when i come back
i want to whisper in the
tangles of childrens' hair.
when i come back
i want to find my voice
in a seashell.
when i come back,
i hope you won't have
gone anywhere. please
don't go, even then.

introduction

oh, my soul is an owl's soft wings
and my heart is a blue jay's feather.
my heart is a thing that dances.
my soul is a walk in foggy weather.

my life is a firefly's flight by night
and my death, an ocean of endless waves.
my death is a book i haven't read;
my life, the music of wind in deep caves.

my mind is a fire brightly burning
and my will is an oak tree's branches.
my will is a river that carves its own way;
my mind is a gambler who takes no chances.

my freedom is a red fox running;
my love is violets in dark corners growing.
my love is a wild hawk hovering high;
my freedom, a secret you'll not be knowing.

oh, my soul is a gypsy's dance
and my heart is a crow's ragged call.
my heart is a tangled forest.
my soul is an old stone wall.

wishes

i want to be the collar of your shirt,
the watch on your pulsing wrist,
the pen your fingers curl around.
i want to be your favorite music,
your last name, your shared pillow.
i want to be the rim of your coffee cup,
your steering wheel, the car keys
you search for so desperately.
i want to be the book you pick up to read.
i want to be your rear-view mirror.
I want to be the beach stone
that feels right in your hand.
i want to be as familiar to you
as macaroni and cheese,
as exciting to you as a naked dive
into cold water,
as necessary to you as
the daily intake of your breath.

winter wish

i wish you love for winter's warmth, love of
beauty in all its forms and the eyes
to see it when you stumble upon it:

ferns still green against
whiter, clear ice; frozen droplets
of waterfall spilling onto gray rocks
and birches glowing incandescent
against the leaded sky.

look up to see the
three-quarters moon
like a fat seal floating beneath a
cloud of frozen slush on ocean surface,
diving beneath it to surface into
clear, open skies again with her honest
inquisitive face turning towards open seas.

see three stars
fly with apparent motion above
the still, unmoving clouds like
three geese in pointed formation, flying
north with silent, white wings.

see oak branches reach with
tangled hands towards the one
remaining rattling leaf on the
outermost branch, hands stretched
in longing, and remember

what you yourself most long for
in your heart--what beauty most
touches you. whether ocean
with its white-sailed sheets of foam,
sand beaches wet with gull track,
ragged clouds and stars, a bird
feeder full of chickadees or
tree moss and bare twig,

may you find in our heart
and your world whatever beauty
your soul most loves
to light your way to spring's doorstep.

lightning

lightning
talks a blue streak
dresses in angelic rags
dances barefoot reels
runs down the stairs and
shocks the neighbors
sleeps intermittently and
sings opera off-key

lightning
is outspoken
speaks before thinking
(you can hear a pin drop before the
rumble of disapproval hits)
covers her embarrassment
with a brilliant smile
loses her car keys and
leaves the house swearing

lightning gives her kids static
wears electric blue
hums in the wires
rattles the cupboards
has impossibly long legs
flashes lacy underwear
and bolts for the door.

rabbit song

white spirit of
the forest, pass
over me. great
hunter with the
silent wings, pass
me by. i am small
and i am hunted,
but i am not
willing to die.

spirit song

When death comes for me,
I will be ready.
I will climb the West Wind
like a ladder, wearing
crow feathers in my long,
black hair. I will climb
slow and quiet, not looking back.
I will sit before the great fire
without fear, and wait for my
grandmother, the bear. I will
give up my body for a long
hibernation, but my spirit
will dance and dance, singing
my song of power:
Mother Earth, I am strong.
Lend me black wings for spirit flight.
Grandmother Bear, I walk
within your skin.
Brother Crow, I am free.
West Wind carries me.

five in flight

I.
Brown among bracken,
sparrows are blown like
leaves from autumn ground--
scattering like clay pigeons
in mid-air, filling the sky
with staccato notes.

II.
Pigeons plunge
from barn eaves
to hang-glide in
evening pastel--
wing-tips held carefully up
like little fingers above
teacups of fine china.
The sky hums with the whir
of pigeon wings and voices.

III.
The gull's gray wing-
feathers grasp
air like fingers,
beat as heart beats,
higher, to hover--
wings still,
but still held.

IV.
The Great Blue Heron
moves mechanically, pauses
prehistorically, then
folds itself into
a paperclip, and
rises with slow grace
into the heavy marsh air--
an algae-covered pond plant
held delicately in
slender beak.

V.
The plane pulls
ostrich plumes from
thin air--deliberately, as
if to impress. Its interior
hides a hundred hearts--
beating in its chest cavity
like the muffled beating
of so many wings.

if someone asks you

if someone asks you
if you've seen me,
say: "i'm not sure."

if someone asks you
how i live my life,
walk backwards.

if they ask
how i am when angry,
close your eyes.

if someone asks you
my name, say
a crow flying at midnight.

if someone asks you
if i am at peace,
point to the light
of a single candle.

if someone asks you
of my childhood,
hand upside-down
while wearing a blindfold.

if someone asks you
how long i love,
hold your breath forever
but do not die.

asked if i will ever forget
someone once loved,
dance a gentle dance
from sunset to morning,
never stopping to rest.

if they ask
the color of my soul,
look towards the smoke
from a fire, and nod once.

if they ask you
if i am happy with my life,
walk on your hands
wearing bells on your ankles.

asked the deepest secret
of my life, i would direct you
to the ocean's lowest tide
in night's deepest fog...
and it will not tell you.

until it is no longer night

her hands
are cutting biscuit dough as
supper simmers on the stove.
she will pour
the broth into a both. then
she will lift her glass,
left there
near the sink
filled with dishes
waiting to be done.

he will wait
to bend just above her
with want.
he will have her
hair in his hands
until it is no longer night,
but not quite morning.

until then,
the moon of
the neighbor's porchlight
shines round and full.
until then,
the transparent needle-points of stars
throw golden sparks
onto their roof.

who is it
who calls me inside?
what love calls to me,
but misses?

i will go back inside
my house to stay--
where our cats sleep,
where i brush my daughter's hair
as she nurses herself to sleep
while everyting in my house
quietly fills with dust.

i will turn my heart back
towards the man
whose night-hands i love
and wait for him
to bend over me
with my hair in his hands
until it is no longer night,
but not quite morning.

collected quotes

my life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened. --mark twain

no person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. --alice walker

mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. --sofia loren

we dance to change ourselves.
only when we have done this
can we try to change the earth.
--crow dog

to go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
to know the dark, go dark. go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings. --wendell berry

all you can do
is go through it,
and that's how small things
survive, like grass
pushes up through
cracks in the asphalt. --kirk robertson

and somewhere in the measured mass
of everything, imagine grass. --knute skinner

it is time to bust out of girlscout camp.
it is time to stop running
for most popular sweetheart of campbell soup.
--marge piercy

life always gets harder near the summit. --nietzsche

to have in this uncertain world some stay
which cannot be undermined
is of the utmost consequence. --adrienne rich

live as if you like yourself, and it may happen. --marge piercy

there are many kinds of courage & i don't have them all. --alta

you have a thousand prayers but god has one. --anne sexton

i found god in myself
& i loved her
i loved her fiercely. --ntozake shange

to live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal,
to hold it against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and when the time comes, to let it go.
--mary oliver

blessed be my brain
that i may conceive of my own power...
blessed be my knees
that i may bend so as not to break.
blessed be my feet
that i may walk in the path of my highest will.
--robin morgan

and so long as you haven't experienced
this: to die and so to grow,
you are only a troubled guest
on the dark earth. --goethe

feathers, shells
and sea-shaped stones
are all as rare.
this could be our revolution:
to love what is plentiful
as much as
what is scarce. --alice walker

let the young rain of tears come.
let the calm hands of grief come.
it's not as evil as you think. --rolf jacobsen

if i have weaknesses, don't them blind me now. --paul simon

for every bad thing that happens to you,
find the good that keeps it in balance. --lucy robson

i am circling around god, around the ancient tower,
and i have been circling for a thousand years.
and i still don't know if i am a falcon,
or a storm, or a great song. --r. m. rilke

facing someone who will kill you, wound you, takes courage. but facing someone who will heal you perhaps takes more courage. --ruth hill

this shaking keeps me steady. i should know.
what falls away is always. and is near.
i wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
i learn by going where i have to go. --theodore roethke



by my life be i spirit
by my heart be i woman
by my eyes be i open
by my hands be i whole.
--ferron

she is a person in the world-with wrongs to right, stupidities to outwit, with her man when possible, on her own when not. she will be there, like any other, only once. therefore, she must, in the midst of tragedy and hatred and neglect, mightily enjoy the readily available: sunshine and pets and children and conversation and games and travel (tiny and large) and books and walks and chocolate cake. --gwendolyn brooks

here's the thing...the thing i believe. god is inside you and inside everybody else. you come to the world with god. but only them that search for it inside find it...i believe god is everything. i think it pisses god off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it. --alice walker

when you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to whereever he is. --lorraine hansberry

the possibililties of life are so great and beautiful that to see less wears the spirit down. --nikki giovanni

be nobody's darling
be an outcast
take the contradictions
of your life
and wrap around
you like a shawl,
to parry stones
to keep you warm.
--alice walker

put the wild hunger where it belongs,
within the act of creation,
crude power that forges a balance
between hate and love.
--may sarton, "kali"

the heart of a woman falls back with the night,
and enters some alien cage in its plight,
and tries to forget it has dreamed of the stars,
while it breaks, breaks, breaks on the sheltering bars.
--georgia douglas johnson

heartily know
when half-gods go
the gods arrive.
--emerson

may all i say and all i think
be in harmony with thee,
god within me, god beyond me,
maker of the trees.
--chinook psalter

at night, make me one with the darkness.
in the morning, make me one with the light.
--wendell berry

the pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.
--marge piercy

clouds are flowing in the river, waves are flying in the sky,
life is laughing in a pebble. does a pebble ever die?
life is laughing in a pebble, flowers bathe in morning dew.
dust is dancing in my footsteps and i wonder who is who.
--evelyn beumkes

it will talk as long as it wants, this rain.
as long as it talks, i am going to listen.
--thomas merton

...do nothing because it is righteous or praiseworthy or noble to do so; do only that which you must do and which you cannot do in any other way. --ursula le guin

eagles never perch by balance.
eagles perch facing into the wind.
eagles perch by leaning against the wind
for balance.
eagles sleep this way...
show me the unexpected direction from which
the wind comes sudden
that i may face into it,
lean against its rising
and sleep this way.
--robin morgan

when spring comes with the third moon,
i know i am a burden
to my lord. but o my lord,
in the third moon of spring, the east
wind is a heavy burden to me.
--chu shu chen

blessed be all my fears and the losing of them...
blessed be change--and its sense of humor.
blessed be survival and its sense of honor.
--robin morgan

the wise man, no matter how he is treated,
knows that heaven does nothing without reason.
--su tung p'0

we are asleep with compasses in our hands. --w. s. merwin

i have woven a parachute out of everything broken. --wm stafford

we are what we pretend to be,
so we must be careful about
what we pretend to be.
--kurt vonnegut jr.

not to dream boldly may turn out to be simply irresponsible. --george leonard

it doesn't matter if the water is cold or warm if you're going to have to wade through it anyway. --teilhard de chardin

it's time again. tear up the violets and plant something more difficult to grow. --james schuyler

"what can i do to put my heart at rest?"
she said, "every morning and every night, and whenever anything happens to you, keep on saying 'thanks for everything. i have no complaints whatsoever.' " --old japanese story

it is harder to kill something that is spiritually alive than it is to bring the dead back to life. --herman hesse

the moon does not heed the barking of wolves. --kathryn lynn davis

there is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action. --goethe

if you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold onto. --tao te ching

the path into the light seems dark,
the path forward seems to go back,
the direct path seems too long. --tao te ching

care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner. --tao te ching

whatever i embrace becomes. --alice walker

but if you travel far enough, one day you will recognize
yourself coming down the road to meet yourself.
and you will say--yes. --marion woodman

a strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done. --marge piercy

i am too alone in the world, and not alone enough
to make every moment holy...
i want my own will, and i want simply to be with my will
as it goes toward action,
and in the silent, hardly moving times
when something is coming near,
i want to be with those who know secret times
or else alone. --rilke

we make the path by walking. --robt bly

is it logical you would be walking around entirely orphaned now?
the truth is, you turned away yourself
and decided to go into the dark alone. --kabir

there are no signposts.
the road is uphill,
and the wind in my face.
still i go on. --yellow bird

long ago, i learned how to sleep
in an old apple orchard whre the wind swept by
counting its money and throwing it away. --carl sandburg

let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute
for putting one foot in front of the other. --m. c. richards

and if we are strong enough
to be weak enough
we are given a wound
that never heals.
It is the gift
that keeps the heart open.

--oriah mountain dreamer